St Rocketcool Nation

Warning, the following contains Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull spoilers and naughty language.  You have been warned.

This morning I woke up and the day was nothing but possibilities.  I was happy, rearing to go and excited because yesterday I had made plans with a friend to go see a movie.  A movie which was the fourth in a series of movies that I absolutely loved.  This was a big deal because I had never seen any of these movies on the big screen before.  Raiders of the Lost Ark came out the year before I was born.  I was two when Temple of Doom was released and was still in a Ninja Turtles phase when Last Crusade bounded onto the screen.  I had to make love to these movies through a VHS player and a 27 inch screen and while pleasant, wasn’t ideal.  Now, finally, in 2008 I would see a new Indiana Jones movie, in a theater!  Not only that, but Spielberg was directing, Harrison Ford was starring and even Karen Allen was back.  Hot damn.

At 3:45pm PST the movie started.  At 3:55pm PST I began to get worried.  At 5:45pm PST when I left the theater I felt like something was terribly wrong.  I struggled with words.  I tried convey a sense of what I just went through, and that is when I realized…

On Tuesday, May 27th, 2008, I paid $8 for George Lucas to rape me.  

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